If we’re still talking about that resentment young men harbor towards women, yeah, here’s the secret:
When someone does something ‘wrong’ by you, realize it’s not a function of their gender, but a byproduct of being human.
That’s it. When a female romantic partner, or potential partner, or someone you admire from afar behaves in a way that jilts you or makes you feel insufficient, do not say, “fuck, women are stupid.” Instead, say, “goddammit, people don’t behave the way I wish they would in my frighteningly myopic and self-obsessed mind.”
Because, that’s what’s up.
All the disappointments and hurt you associate with women would just as soon come from men if you were interested in men.
You want things to go your way. You want women to notice you and love you for who you are. You feel rebuked and then resentful when they don’t acknowledge you’re the coolest.
But their failure to fawn over you has little to do with their gender and everything to do with the fact that they’re human beings with their own set of priorities that don’t necessarily include loving you.
Let’s go through a list of the logic fallacies young men marry themselves to. This could also be a list of pop punk tropes.
- Women should recognize your value, but don’t.
- Women can’t be trusted.
- Women care about superficial things.
Now, let’s look at those claims put through the lens of a thinking adult who isn’t wearing an American Nightmare hoodie over his Descendents tattoo.
- Why would anyone recognize a fucking thing about you? There’s 3 billion males on the planet. You’re gonna have to assert your greatness if you have any at all. A potential employer can’t see into your soul, and neither can a potential romantic partner. Why did you make that shit about women?
- People do people shit. Meaning, they speak in the moment and act in the moment. When those moments are separated by even a couple seconds, you can expect some discrepancies between the two. You do this all the time, just like every other human, regardless of gender. Why did you make that shit about women?
- Women are universally marginalized. In most every population of marginalized people, you’ll see evidence that material goods and appearances take on an added importance. That only makes sense, though, of course, this generalization says nothing about the individual. However, YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO GET THAT SPECIFIC WITH IT. Because all of fucking humanity, marginalized or not, is superficial as fuuuuuuuuck. Half the time a dude is crying that he’s getting passed over for rich dudes or cool dudes, he’s passing over less attractive women. BECAUSE EVERYONE WANTS THE SHIT THAT THEY WANT, THEY JUST CREATE GOOFY STORIES TO JUSTIFY THEIR WANTS OVER OTHERS.
In short, realize you’re actually just a bitter goblin. Own that for a minute. Recognize it’s misanthropy, not misogyny, that’s got your nuts in a vice. Only then can you start working through your bullshit.
Some Girls - Dead in a Web
dead in a web
where we once were our roaring head
dead in a web
boring people on bad cocaine
dead in a web
sandpaper tongues forked with terms of depression
missing limbs thin under sweet obsession
god coming down pulling fuckers from bars
and sticking them in driver-seats of cars
track marks the spot of the stuttering dead
but there are easier ways to blow off your head”
Michael Cantor - Crossed Out
“sleeping through winter and feeling sick
waking up at daybreak and nothing’s fixed
I couldn’t pick up a pen to write down
a crossed out sense of self sinking in”
Cayetana - South Philly
“I fall asleep to the sound of violence and I wake up to the sound of sirens and you and your missing parts and you with your dreams in jars. Riding south I can’t see the northern lights or the apathy we shared on those drunken summer nights. Just me with my dreams in jars, poor me with my missing parts.
I watch you day dream about god. Are you day dreaming still? But what has he done for you? I fall asleep to the sounds.